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Thursday, December 15, 2005 Edmund: (reads) "Dear Enemy: I curse you, and hope that something slightly unpleasant happens to you, like an onion falling on your head." Baldrick: Well, that is the bottom end of the market. They run all the way to this one, for four ducats. Edmund: (reads) "Dear Enemy: may the Lord hate you and all your kind, may you be turned orange in hue, and may your head fall off at an awkward moment." Blackadder : What are you wearing around your neck? Percy : Ah! It's my new ruff! Blackadder : You look like a bird who's swallowed a plate. Percy : It's the latest fashion actually and as a matter of fact it makes me look rather sexy! Blackadder : To another plate swallowing bird perhaps. Prince George : No wait Blackadder. Perhaps this disgusting degraded creature is some sort of blessing in disguise. Blackadder : Well if he is it's a very good disguise. Prince George : After all did not our Lord send a lowly earthworm to comfort Moses in his torment? Blackadder : No. Prince George : Well it's the sort of thing he might have done. Blackadder (EB): "I mean, look at this, what is it?" He picks up a potato Baldrick (BA): "I'm surprised you've forgotten, my lord." EB: "I haven't forgotten. It's a rhetorical question." BA: "No. It's a potato." EB: "Baldrick, what have you done?" BA: "I've done 'c' and 'd'." EB: "Let's hear it then." BA: "'Big blue wobbly thing that mermaids live in.'" EB: "What's that?" BA: "Sea." EB: "Yes, tiny misunderstanding -- still, my hopes weren't high. What about 'd'?" BA: "I'm quite pleased with 'dog'. EB "Yes? And the definition of 'dog' is... BA: "'Not a cat.'" BA: "I couldn't sleep when I was little." EB: "You still are little, Baldrick." BA: "Well, when I was even littler, see, we used to live in a haunted hovel. Every night our family was troubled by a visitation from this disgusting ghoul. It was terrible -- first there was this unholy smell, then this tiny, hairy, clammy little creature would materialize in the bed between them. Fortunately I could never see it myself." EB: "Yes. Tell me, Baldrick, when you left home, did this repulsive entity mysteriously disappear?" BA: "That very day." EB: "I think, then, that the mystery is solved." Baldrick's war poems...beware, they are quite stupid. "Hear the words I sing, War's a horrid thing. But still I sing, sing, sing Ding a ling a ling." The German Guns "Boom, boom, boom, boom, Boom, boom, boom, Boom, boom, boom, boom..." EB: "Boom, boom, boom?" BA: "How did you guess?" -- 4.6 BA: "...a girl actually came up and kissed me." EB: "Poor woman -- first casualty of the war." -- 4.6 Haha! 12:34 AM
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